A mid-morning coffee date on a hot Sunday morning should not be the thing I most look forward to when Friday afternoon rolls around, but it is. Why should such a mundane activity take up so much space in my head? The constraints of our relationship make it so that our time is limited and perhaps these precious few hours we have to share together matter more than they would were we in a 'conventional' relationship. All I know for certain is that when your lips touch mine, when your arms go around mine, when your body molds itself to mine on stolen weekend mornings, my world rights itself and the deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding is suddenly let go. A big exhalation from my lungs that leaves me stepping a little lighter and smiling a little bigger. I never want this to end.

To Look at You

Your face, with it's freshly shaved cheeks, smooth skin lightly tinged with a ruddy blush. Blue green eyes alternate constantly. One minute they are bright and flashing with good humor and mirth, the next they are wide and serious, looking deep into mine as you whisper words only my ears are meant to hear. Still other times, they darken to slate gray...and these are the times I know your heart is burdened as your mind tries to grapple with sadness that has so seldom touched your life. A proud nose and a delicately pointed chin, a thinker's brow. Care lines around your eyes are a road map for a lifetime of smiles you've shared, bestowed upon those who are lucky enough to call you friend. A surprisingly smooth forehead, a good indicator that frowns seldom stay long enough to leave an imprint. Eyelashes as delicate as moth's wings rest lightly on your cheeks as each blink becomes longer and longer as sleep begins to claim you as we lie face to face in the semi darkness. Your face; as familiar as my own.

So Far Gone

Dear You,

Whoo! It's been awhile, huh? It's been just a tad crazy in this little life of mine lately. We were together and then You went away, and now You're back again, finally. Finally. It seemed you were gone forever, love. It's amazing how 30 days stretches into an eternity when you are a universe apart from your heart. Left behind, I had nothing to do but imagine you sitting in an office far away, and wonder where your thoughts were. Were they meeting mine, somewhere in space, swirling and mingling together, tasting each other like we so often do when we are together? I hope so. Before you left, I knew I loved you. Now that you are back and I've memorized your face all over again, imprinted your scent on my soul, I know that living without you in my life isn't an option anymore. I don't know how I'll get there, how we'll get there....but somehow, someday, we will. Of that, I have no doubt.

Love,

Me

Do You Remember?

Dear You,
It's funny, thinking about the first time we met. I feel as if you've always been a part of my life, a part of me. Our lives have meshed so seamlessly, sometimes it's hard for me to tell where I end and you begin. I had been warned of your imminent arrival. I was told in hushed tones of suspicion and doom, your impending presence in our everyday lives was one that was resented, and not especially well received. I had no idea what to expect, but the message was unmistakable: Stay clear, remain invisible. Time passed and it wasn't long before I noticed a strange man walking our corridors; handsome, well dressed, perfectly coiffed hair. When you turned to smile at me, I was immediately struck by the kindness I saw written on your face. Your eyes crinkled up at the corners, extending an invitation for a smile in return. This was the man I was supposed to fear? I had a hard time reconciling myself to feel that way about you. I was intrigued and set about finding out just who you were......

Around You, I'm Me.

Dear You,
In my life, there has never been another such as you. You allow me to be Me in every sense of the word. In You, I found my friend, my lover, my connection in this world. I am the person I want to be when I am with You. And that love, is worth giving you my heart. Please don't break it.
-Me

So this is Me, writing to You, in a place I know you will never visit. Not because you won't, but because you can't. You, my love, do not know that this....place, exists. I need this though, a place where I can record my thoughts, my feelings, the warm and fuzzies and the dark and twisties which seem to go skipping hand and hand whenever we are together. Whoever would have guessed?